Last One

 To everyone who still remembers my name:

I'm coming home. I haven't written one of these in a while but I would like to share one last update and express my thoughts and feelings about serving as a full-time missionary and representative of Jesus Christ. 

I started my mission in Australia, serving in 3 different areas and with 10 different companions. I learned a lot there, especially about myself as I did all I could to share the gospel with the people there. There I was faced with many challenges and many opportunities to grow. I always felt an attitude of positivity and strength in the Lord. I loved my time there and have a special love for the Chinese people I worked alongside. I am deeply grateful for my mission call to Sydney Australia. Halfway through I was sent home where I stayed for 2 months before being reassigned to the California Arcadia mission. The entire time I was home, I missed being a missionary and I was excited to come back out, even though I knew missionary work would be done differently than ever before. I arrived in California and spent the first 3 months in my apartment, working through Zoom and other methods to share the gospel in a small Chinese branch. Despite the challenges, the work moved forward faster than ever. I saw the pandemic prepare hearts for the gospel. It also allowed me to rely more on the Spirit and humbly trust the Lord's will. I have always felt that the Lord will get us through. I reflect back on the scripture inscribed on my mission plaque: 

"And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me."

I know that Christ, through His grace, carries us when we don't have the strength we need. He magnifies us. He's magnified me. I am not the same person that I was 2 years ago. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude as I see the change in my own heart, coupled with the change in countless others that I have loved and served. 

Little by little, the pandemic slowed down, until we went from being stuck inside all day to being able to visit members, and then to have meetings, to talk to people on the street, to have baptisms in the chapel instead of the swimming pool, and finally to being fully opened up. The last 8 months of my mission the pandemic felt almost nonexistent as we spent every day outside spreading the gospel.

When I had been in California for 3 months I was assigned to serve as the mission president's assistant. I served in this assignment for 8 months and learned so much during this time. Being in an English ward I could focus on sharpening my skills and knowledge of the gospel instead of simply on learning a language. I came to deeper understanding of the gospel and teaching principles, especially the importance of the Spirit in conversion. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God works through us to reach the hearts of His children. I have seen the Spirit work through me and I have seen Him work through my companions. I have literally witnessed change; in those people that we found and baptized, in the missionaries I served with, and in myself as I lost myself in this work and gave my all to God. I have felt more joy than ever before in my life as I truly tried to think about others more than myself. I know that the Savior's promise is true: 

"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it."

My perspective has expanded. Life seems so simple compared to how it used to. Each day the decisions we make really seem to boil down to whether or not we want to follow God, whether or not we trust Him, whether or not we desire to receive the blessings that He has promised us. I am excited to apply some of the truths I've learned in my life following my mission.

In the last 3 months of my mission, I was assigned to serve in a Chinese ward in the western side of our mission. I was so excited to once again speak the language that I was called to learn, and to serve the Chinese people. In these 3 months I have seen more miracles than ever before. We were led to many people who have been prepared to receive the gospel, and saw the Lord working in their lives. I would love to share one experience about a woman I met during this last part of my mission.

One day after a lesson in the chapel, my companion and I were preparing our things to leave and move on to the next activity of the day. We were about to leave when a Chinese woman walked into the building (for some reason we had left the door open that day- we usually don't). I greeted her in Chinese and she looked shocked. Gathering herself, she explained that she had a feeling to come to our church. She had no idea what church it was, and was on the way to do something else, but noticed cars in the parking lot and decided to stop by to see if she could learn anything about the church. She said she had recently moved from another city. She explained that she is a researcher and had spent years studying the difference of Chinese and English language learning. This is why she was so amazed when she met two white guys speaking Chinese. She asked if we would show her around the chapel and we did so. My companion and I were both amazed that this woman had just walked into the church. She seemed very interested in what we had to say, and we excitedly invited her to church the next day. 

We were so glad to see her the next day at the church meeting. She was swarmed by the members and seemed to really enjoy her time. She even spent 45 minutes after the meeting chatting with the Bishop, who encouraged her to keep meeting with the missionaries and learning the gospel. As things developed, my companion and I were increasingly astonished at how golden the situation was. 

The following Tuesday, we met again with the woman at the chapel, this time for our first real discussion. We walked in and sat down with her, Book of Mormon in hand. Instantly we could tell something was off. She asked us what we were doing and looked really confused. We said we were hoping to share a message about the gospel of Jesus Christ. She explained that she was under the impression that we would be meeting at the chapel so that she could learn our techniques for learning Chinese which allowed her to learn so quickly. She said she was not interested in learning about God, since she already had been a Christian for many years. She said she just wanted to know why we could speak Chinese. 

My companion and I were devastated. How could this seemingly prepared individual not want to learn the gospel? But she was so firm in what she was saying that we didn't interject. I was feeling a mixture of disappointment and frustration. But in the back of my mind I kept having the spiritual impression that she WAS prepared, and soon we would find out why. This spiritual impression led me to tell the woman that we would love to help in any way we can, and we tried to explain how we learn Chinese. Of course we explained that most of it comes from the power of God. 

Well, the woman went on for 30-40 minutes about all the things she's been studying, and she seemed to be talking in circles about her questions and setbacks in the process of her research. We tried to help but much of the content was too advanced for us and it was to little avail. In the meantime, we were both feeling that if this woman was really not interested, then we were wasting time just talking about language. We felt we should politely leave and go off to find someone who wanted to learn the gospel. But the Spirit continued to assure me that there was a reason for all of this. I kept remembering how I felt when she first walked into the chapel, so obviously guided by God.

Eventually she took a breath and looked at us, finally realizing that we really couldn't help her as much as she had hoped. We didn't have the answers she was looking for in terms of language techniques, and she looked a bit confused. She told us that she felt that we wanted to help her but didn't know how. She took a pause and seemed to reconsider her original thinking. At this moment the Spirit prompted me to ask a question. I asked her "why do you think God sent you here?" 

She said she felt she had been led to the chapel to learn about the Chinese learning etc. - I interrupted and clarified my question to open her view. I said I didn't mean 'why did God send you here to the chapel' but instead 'why did God send you here to earth? What is your life purpose?'

The room changed. I saw her become very introspective. She looked humble. After a quiet moment of pondering, she spoke. Her tone of voice was completely different, her heart softened by the Spirit. She said she did not know the answer to my question, and that she felt it was very important to know, and asked if we could tell her. 

We warmly assured her that we could tell her, that we could share with her much knowledge that God desired her to have. She asked earnestly for us to teach her. She seemed to understand by the Spirit that we truly did have knowledge that could bless her life. She had spent her entire life searching for it, never knowing what was missing. By this time it had been almost an hour and so we rescheduled for another time. At that lesson we taught the doctrine of the plan of salvation, and the rest is history. She ended up learning that she is a beloved daughter of God. She grew to love herself and trust the Lord. She gained confidence and strength, and I've seen her continue to change. She made a decision to be baptized and I have seen her grow so much through the process. I'm so grateful that the Lord trusted me with an experience like this on my mission. He is preparing hearts.

As I reflect back on the past 2 years, I see an overarching theme in the Lord's teachings to me. He has showed me time and again that He is in charge. He has showed me that He loves me, and that He doesn't require me to be perfect, but simply requires my "broken heart and contrite spirit". He can work with me in my imperfections. He can make me more than I am, and He has. I am forever converted to Jesus Christ. I trust that as I follow Him, I'll become the man I need to become. I believe in Him, and I believe the promises that He offers to me. I am inexpressibly grateful for my opportunity to serve as a missionary. I invite all of us to get closer to the Savior Jesus Christ each day.

这个教会是真实的。

Elder Sawyer Halverson